back into the swing of things

so i've been back from vacation a few days now and am getting settled back into work. vacation overall was pretty boring, but i still prefer it to work. yes, i know that if i was truly a housewife, i'd be bored out of my mind and need an escape. but the idea of just a part time job sounds magical to me. and i really think i have enough interests now i could fill my time pretty well. vacation was just tricky because i was trying to do things i normally wouldn't want to do. but whatever.

we kicked off the vacation with the trip to broken bow, oklahoma. anniversary trip with the in-laws? that's correct. actually i really like my in-laws and appreciate the fact that they want to drive us around and pay for a trip for us. i was pretty excited about getting to do some things i love in a new place away from work.

overall, good trip. i tend to plan things a litlte too much sometimes, so not having a plan makes me a little crazy. alex's parents don't plan. mine don't really either, i guess, but they tend to think about what they want to do and if there's a best way to go about that. alex's parents just do it.

we left early saturday morning and managed to check in a few hours early. we got settled in and had some lunch and then left again to scout out fishing spots and make a golf tee time. being the brilliant person i am, i remembered change out of my jeans and into some shorts before leaving. super smart. why? because they ended up fishing for like 3 hours while i sat there. i wasn't smart enough to bring a book (or camera) just in case, cause i thought it was going to be a quick trip. so sad. and kind of boring. but pretty. AND i got to see a little otter running around and swimming in the river. it made the entire trip worth it. looked just like uzi.

came home to make some dinner (my delicious beans and blueberry peach cobbler. can't beat em.) and watched "nothing but trouble." hung out in the hot tub and tried to save the lightning bugs from their suicide missions into the tub. the guys made their tee time for the next morning, so we knew that we'd need to get up, take them to the golf course, and then spend the next 3 or so hours doing something else. i tried to convince my m-i-l to go trail running with me. she wasn't very excited but agreed to try. lucky for her the trails are super rocky and slippery and not a good idea for novice trail runners. so we walked. then she tricked me into climbing this mountain for a view. the view never happened. but we didn't die or fall. success.

picked the guys up and came back for lunch. the us open was on and alex's dad LOVES to watch golf (and fox news). so i played along for a little bit and then snuck outside to read. i made it a whole chapter into "water for elephants" and fell asleep. i was concerned that my neck would break from the rolling of my head, so i moved inside and passed out in my bed for an hour or so. the good news? there was still like 3 hours of the golf tournament left! so that was awesome. i finished up some knitting and tried to right off a headache. we were going to go down the river again, but i realized that dinner was gonna take a couple hours to cook and it was already 6. my m-i-l and i stayed back while the guys fished. dinner was good (stuffed shells) and i was wiped out from my day of nothing, so i crashed.

the next morning we got up early for the guys to fish and the girls to eat pancakes and clean up. alex and i had our stuff packed up, so mostly there wasn't much to do. i got to sit outside and read with a cup of coffee for an hour or so while it wasn't 1000 degrees outside. it was perfect. exactly what i wanted to do. no, i didn't ever get to read by the river, but that's okay. the guys got back and the girls prepared for their spa experience. we were pumped.

turns out they set us up for a couple's massage because they thought we wanted that. no problem. what a treat, though. the bed was made by the owner's husband, a chiropractor. the sound of the music comes from within the bed, which is kind of strange, but cool. so they basically drizzle hot shea butter all over you (including your hair) and massage it into you. then they sprinkle sea salts on you and exfoliate. and then they wrap you on hot towels. it was fantastic. plus we got to eat some amazing cheesecake brownies afterward and drink cucumber water (and i don't even like cucumbers). great experience.

the fun thing is that you can't wash the shea butter out of your hair. so we drove home a little greasy and smelling like fish bait (that's what the guys told us). after about 3 stops on the way home for alex's dad to eat (he seriously had like 4 big meals that day before 5), we made it home. the puppies were thrilled, especially after the storms and tornadoes that came through while we were gone.

the rest of the week was kind of boring and a bit of a blur. tuesday we went to see x-men with our friend matt. my hair was still in a ponytail thanks to the shea butter (took 2 big pre-washes/ regular washes with dawn to get it all out). movie was great. magneto's just awesome. first place at trivia that night (whoo!). wednesday we had father's day lunch with dad at this itty bitty store a billion miles away. it was pretty good for forestburg. i ran that evening at the park while alex hit golf balls at the driving range with buck. came home to host poker night- black eyed pea dip and cranberry oatmeal cookies. buck brought a girl over to watch "the big lebowski" with me. it was her first time to see it, so i tried to keep my mouth shut and let her just enjoy it. i did okay.

i made a quick decision on thursday to cut my hair at a cheap place. boy was it not what i asked for. overall the cut's not too bad, it's just nothing like i asked. i said long bob, angled to the front, long enough for a ponytail, no stacking. i got chin-length bob, straight, too short for a ponytail, stacked. first time i almost cried after a haircut. at least i could get pig tails out of it and ended up being able to sort of finagle a ponytail. could be worse. much worse.

i spent thursday with mom picking out fabric for her bedroom and exploring homegoods. the guy filling in for alex took us out for dinner that night. i swear pasta is so overpriced in restaurants. it's crazy. 14 bucks for linguine in a (really bad, really thick) cream sauce with 7 shrimp. that was it. nuts. lost big time at trivia, but our waitress remembered us after just one trip, so that was awesome.

our 5th anniversary didn't start off too great. my fault. my favorite shirt (nobody puts baby in a corner, you know the one) somehow got bleach stains all over it. i went on this big rant about how all of my clothes are getting ruined, which is true. but that sort of lead to a meltdown. i felt super fat that day anyway (remember the linguine with cream sauce) and was frustrated about my hair still. just a bad morning. we had lunch at cheesecake factory so alex would shut up about it and stop trying to kill me through the 5 billion calories in each item on the menu. the food really is good, but man, it's so bad for you. i ordered the french salad, which was so so good. we came home and watched some tv and movies. took the dogs for a walk and got snow cones. kept things pretty chill.

saturday we remembered that alex's uncle was leaving town and asked if we could borrow his pool. we decided to take the dogs with us to see if they would have fun in the pool. the answer to that is no. poor gandalf can't keep his butt up. from the amount of arm splashing he does, i think he may just not use his back legs at all. he tried, though. and never would jump in to us, but can at least do a little.

uzi was the big shocker. she's not interested at all in going in the water, but once she does, man she's good. she looks just like a little alligator.

sunday we went to our church for the first time in weeks and spent the rest of the day trying to pretend we didn't have to work the next day and figuring out our plans for food and working out. big surprise, we're gonna try one more time to eat right and exercise. so far so good, though. i'm about 4 pounds less than my highest last week. we tend to do okay when we're really focused together. plus being broke keeps us from eating out or doing things other than than working out. so that's helpful.

but yeah, overall, an okay vacation. we could have done something else fun if we had the money, but whatever. it was nice to just hang out and be together. i'm already looking forward to the next bit of time off.

vacation! whoo!

i have 4 hours and 50 minutes before my vacation starts. yes, i'm counting down. yes, i've been counting down for weeks.

we meet up with the in-laws at 8am tomorrow to hit the road. we'll be making our way to broken bow, oklahoma for a weekend of camping (read as staying in a lavish cabin), fishing (read as me reading while other people fish), and hopefully running some trails. and then probably dying from heat exhaustion or bear attack.

i'm pumped to get out of here, though. i'm really looking forward to a weekend of nothing. sitting around reading, running, knitting, and cooking. all of my favorite things and in a pretty place. my main goal is to not kill my father-in-law (he tends to yell out answers when he's not playing trivia games and it makes me crazy).

my other goal is to not cry all weekend when we leave the puppies. i'm pathetic, i know. they're pretty excited that their grampy and grammy texas are coming to see them, so that'll help me out. my half sister's kids live in new hampshire and call my parents grammy and grampy texas (to not confuse them with the rest of their grandparents), so the puppies have decided to just go with the same name to make it easy. and gandalf's just in love with my dad, so he'll lose it when he walks in. it warms my heart.

when we get back we'll be ready for a week of nothing before our anniversary on friday. this will be five years of marriage (and 11 total). it's gone by so so fast and has been a ton of fun. we have had a fantastic marriage and can't wait to see what happens next. this is the part where normally a picture would be posted, but we hated our wedding photos so much we still haven't bought a single one. so here's some of us that are a little more us than our wedding photos would have been....

happy anniversary, dude! i love you!

it's hot.

it's been a good and a tough week all in one. i was pumped that throughout the weekend, i managed to lose a couple pounds and maintain it. just a couple, but those couple took me from being a pound above overweight to a pound into normal. and that's amazing all by itself. also amazing that one of the days last weekend was spent at mom's house, which is always a good way to gain weight. mom's really good at enabling me and tricking me into eating crap. or maybe we just love to cook and bake stuff and then eat loads of it. whatever the case, i call her an enabler and tell her she's being the devil. we have a great relationship.

i even managed to get in a run on sunday. alex's grandfather had had surgery on thursday and was moved into a rehab facility over the weekend. we were going to watch the first part of the mavs game with him before we went to a friend's house to finish the game (whoo! national champions!). i figured that since the facility's on our side of town i'd just leave a little early and run there to get my run in. plus i was going to wait till the evening so it wouldn't be hot. i looked at the map, it was about 4.3ish miles. easy. no big deal. i took off.

i don't know if anyone has heard yet, but it's really hot in june in texas. even at 6. luckily there's a park about 2 miles into the run, so i was able to get some water. during my water break i missed alex driving by hoping to give me some water. it was really hot. like 103. and humid. and i was running into the sun and into the wind. the great part was that the wind was blowing on me. the bad part was that the wind was blowing on me.

i was miserable. i just wanted to get there. something about that route just seemed unending. i need to remember to run where i have more than two straight paths. i just need it to break up the distance a little more. i crossed the busiest of the streets and started heading up the hill. felt like i was dying. looked at my garmin and told myself i only had a mile left. i just had to run like 12 minutes more (yes, i'm slow, i don't care). 12 minutes. i can do that.

i couldn't. i ended up stopping at 4. it was hot. i was getting the chills. my body wanted to shut down. i had another up hill. i had no desire to run those last .3 miles. so i didn't. i walked it. and it was great. one of the best decisions i'd made. i spent the next hour or so mopping up my sweaty body with the paper towels at the rehab place and trying to not sit on anything for fear of a puddle left behind when i stood back up.

i was smart enough (because alex didn't want me to embarrass him) to bring a shirt along to change into. and what shirt did i bring? my new fave (brought to you by the "nobody puts baby in a corner" people). it's not a super original idea anymore but i love it. it has a map of the u.s. with just texas drawn out and labeled. above texas it just says "the other states." and yes, we really believe we're the only state that matters. anyway, i was pumped to wear my new gray shirt. that's right. i brought a gray t-shirt to cover my sweaty body in 105 degree weather. so stupid. that's why i never buy shirts that aren't black. cause i live in texas and have to deal with 105 degree sweaty weather. thankfully, my paper towel usage worked pretty well and i wasn't completely mortified when i walked into our friend's house for the rest of the mavs game (whoo! national champions!).

plus i got to get taco cabana as a treat for my hard work running. and yes, overall i've done a pretty good job sticking with my reward plan. last night was trivia, so that always ends up being a bit of a free-for-all. and we ran out of food at the house, so today unfortunately started with donuts for breakfast and jimmy john's for lunch. jimmy john's wont' be too bad and i'm hoping that the donuts won't kill me. i just have to make it up tonight with a good run. luckily it rained last night so we had a bit of a cool front. it's only like 85 so far today and shouldn't get past 95ish tonight. piece of cake.

in other news, my boss's last day was yesterday, so now i'm doing her job as well. luckily she didn't teach me a thing and i have to figure it all out and look pretty stupid. the good news is that i only have to deal with it for a couple more days and then i go on vacation. whoo! anniversary trip with the in-laws! oklahoma! i'm actually pretty excited for it. i need a break from this place. for now, i'll just wait for lunch.

hit pound and then hang up?

just felt like i was michael bluth explaining to gob on how to use the phone.

a student just came up who apparently is new to the whole microwave thing. they're tricky, ya know. she wanted 3:30, but it would only go 3. i explained that she just needed to push the "add 30 seconds" buttons. this threw her for a loop.

"but i need it to be 3:30."

"yep, just push the 'add 30 seconds' button."

"so i push 'add 30 seconds' and then the 3?"

"nope, just push the 3, and then 'add 30 seconds.'"

"and that'll cook it for how long?"

"3:30."

"ok, we'll see if this works."

the same student was concerned about living on the second floor because of the number of stairs in our hall versus another hall. she wanted to know how many stairs we had. we were clueless. she counted them. took about 5 minutes (just one floor, not the whole building). she came down panting and was really disappointed that there were so many more stairs here.

she also wanted us to remodel her private bathroom because it "isn't going to work."

weird that she doesn't know how to use a microwave.

sunshine, lollipops and rainbows

after a falling out with gwyneth paltrow (mostly upset that she stole chris martin from me), i've fallen back in love with her in the last few years. the sense of humor that i thought she lacked was merely disguised and our love affair has begun again. i think she's fantastic. she's down to earth and just a delight. and the hair, my goodness the hair.

i bought her new cookbook a few weeks ago, my father's daughter. and while i haven't actually cooked from it yet, am really excited about the recipes. and i love that she loves cooking and loves food like she does despite weighing about 75 pounds.

i also got hooked on her blog, goop.

when i first read the site, it seemed a little pretentious. where to eat when you travel beautiful places. what clothes to wear when you have an unlimited budget. but that's the life she lives and that's what blogs are about. plus she lives some mass-appeal choices for those that don't have houses in two continents. and she's had some really great posts.

the most recent addresses something that's near and dear to my heart. homosexuality. it's one of those hot button issues that sways my vote each time. i just don't understand how anyone can put on a ballot that they support discrimination of any kind. it just blows my mind. but i live in texas, so i shouldn't be that surprised.

anyway, in a nutshell, i feel that no matter if you think it's right or wrong morally, gay marriage is a civil rights issue and that as a country, we should have equal rights for all. and as christians, we should show love to everyone, just as christ did (and the pharisees did not).

i loved the passages she shared from a variety of spiritual guides regarding homosexuality in the bible. and while they obviously are just a few people giving their view, i was thrilled with their points. rather than try to summarize everything, it can be read here.

so way to go, gwynnie. allow me to personally invite you to my future son's gay wedding (and birthday parties and tuesdays). his name is sparkles glitter rainbow. and yes, i named him that to ensure he's gay and not some annoying straight boy. and yes, i while i think that gays are born that way, i'm convinced i can turn someone gay, just not the other way around. see you tuesday, gwyneth.

aha moment

it's been one of those weeks. not necessarily bad, or really great, but just one of those weeks. i kicked it off on monday vowing to get my workouts back on schedule. unfortunately this was proven a little more difficult than planned thanks to some weirdness in my body. i have a strange mix of ugh feelings- headache/dizziness/nausea/abnormally low body temperature. the good news is that i only feel bad if i'm not eating or sleeping. so i try to stay on top of the eat/sleep combo as much as possible. i go to the doctor this afternoon to see how things look. i'm hoping for a pill that takes care of the symptoms and also knocks off about 25 pounds. so here's hoping.

i'm happy to say that i managed to get some workouts in on monday and tuesday. and i'm especially happy to say that i got myself to do them after a nap and after dinner both nights. normally i would have just brushed them off as being too late. i ovalized on monday around 9:30 or so. and then i got in a quick 3 miles tuesday around 8ish. i felt so much more accomplished than normal. yesterday i was hoping to get in a few miles after dinner with some friends (a delicious veggie sandwich from five guys of all places), but alex's grandfather broke his hip yesterday, so we spent the evening at the hospital. i'm really glad we came when we did because we managed to be there for all the doctor visits to give his medical history and get the low down on his surgery. i haven't had to be the person in charge before, so it was a good learning experience for me. but things seem to be going okay there, and the staff is incredible. it really takes some amazing people to do that job and i am so thankful for them.

needless to say i didn't get a workout in. i did managed to stay pretty much within my calories for the day (maybe 50 or so over is all). so that was awesome. i'm just dreading getting on the scale at the doctor's today. it won't matter once they fork over those magic pills.

i've been reading through a book oprah gave away on favorite things last christmas- a course in weight loss: 21 spiritual lessons for surrendering your weight forever by marianne williamson. as the name suggests it integrates spirituality with weight loss and allows you to free yourself from the things that have kept you from losing weight. i had trouble getting into it because i was usually reading before bed and had trouble really thinking about what i was reading. plus it called for some exercises that i didn't feel like taking the time for or doing.

but the last few chapters have had some good things in it. some things that have never crossed my mind and should have a long time ago. one of the best things was to again do as the title suggests and actually surrender your weight to god. it was a new thought to me. we talk all the time about giving your life to god and letting him control things. and while we say that in reference in many aspects of our lives- jobs, family, struggles, health- we never actually talk about the weight aspect of our health. we trust god to do so many things, but not our weight. if we believe he can cure cancer, how is it too much to think he can't control our weight? it was a revolutionary thought to me. and a freeing one. i could turn it over to god and allow him to guide me and take care of it. the thought made my trail run last week really amazing. i spent the last half of it just letting things go and trusting that god would take care of me- even the little things like just getting through that run. i'm not saying i have it together by any means, but keeping that in my head gives me so much comfort during the day and takes a lot of the pressure off of me that i'm taking on.

another new revelation came to me today as i was reading the another mother runner blog. the blogger they featured today said that one thing she can't run without is a body wash that she used as a treat when she'd run over 10 miles. simple idea. earth shattering to me. i grew up with food as a reward. good grades- banana split. class president- mexican dinner. great volleyball game- pizza. tuesday- more mexican food. fun girls day- more mexican food. while i hope to raise my own children with rewards not involving food (still figuring that out, luckily i have some time), i don't know how to get away from it. i love food and use it to justify good and bad days. and i use it after a great run to celebrate my strength. but it never occurred to me to treat myself for a real accomplishment. maybe i can eat something great this week, but only after a 7 mile run or 15 miles that week. maybe i can have real dessert today, but only after 50 push ups. maybe my rewards can still be there as long as they relate to accomplishing something that i've set as a true goal. a reward for the work, not a justification.

again, none of this should be new to me, but somehow it was an aha moment, in keeping with oprah's favorite things.

so tonight's another busy night. doctor's appointment after work, hospital run after that, floorset after that. and maybe i can fit in a run. but if not, that's okay. but i can't justify full blown taco cabana just because i worked floorset (though if i still have the calories left in the day, it can be a modified option). whatever the case, i'm working on reward not justification and letting god take over. i'm hoping for those magic pills too, just to make it easier on him.

national running day

so yesterday was national running day. i was reminded of this every few minutes from runner's world, the another mother runner blog, all the sporting good stores, and endless facebook posts from kara goucher, ryan hall, etc. i would kill myself if i ignored all the hype.

unfortunately for me, june 1st in texas is miserable. and it's not even as bad as it'll get in the next 3 months. but walking out to my car after work was a very unpleasant surprise. i'm pretty sure my leather seats in my car melted through my jeans to burn my skin. but i'd already agreed to go trail running while alex and his cousin mountain biked. stupid decision.

i got home and changed into my gear. i realized that a hydration pack would probably come in handy since there aren't any water faucets on this run. i made a super quick trip by sports authority and made a decision from the 2 choices they had. i pulled and pulled and pulled on the straps to get the belt as tight as possible so it wouldn't bounce around as much. i felt good. i was dreading the run but excited about my belt (amazing how new gear can make you want to do something you didn't want to do).

we got to the park and i started off to the trail head. i ran about 10 feet before my water bottle bounced out. i couldn't do 7 more miles like that, so i turned back to the car and threw the belt in the back. instead i decided to just carry the water bottle cause i'd definitely need it. turns out it wasn't too bad to carry and was as essential to the run as i thought it'd be.

my original goal for the run was to get as far as i did last time (which wasn't very far) without having to walk. the heat killed me last time and it was about 20 degrees warmer this time. i took off. slowly. but i was doing okay. i knew how to watch for bikers and still see the roots. i got to my last quitting spot and still felt okay. i'd made it through the first batch of woods without falling. i got through the field that had flowers and weeds up to my waist with a trench wide enough for one foot without crying. i felt pretty good about things so far. i passed alex about 3 miles or so in, they'd already gone 4. so i'd made better time than the last run, but i was concerned about the last 4 miles. they told me they'd wait and i promised to go as fast as i could.

the rest of the trail seemed a little easier. i'm not sure how much was just easier terrain and how much was me just getting used to running there. but overall i felt good. i'd already passed my goal of beating my last distance. and then i made it to meet alex. at 4 miles i kept reminding myself it was just a 5k left. by the time i hit 5 miles, i knew i would just have to press on. 5.5 meant a quick run down to the end of my "trail" at home. the last mile seemed to keep going and going. and then i looked up and saw alex peeking his head over the field. he was a little concerned that i'd twisted an ankle in the middle of nowhere, but he only had to go about 20 feet to see me trucking along. and they'd only finished about 15 minutes before me, so that was awesome. i waited 45 for them on monday, so 15's nothing.

so yeah, i did it. and didn't die. i think i had a good time, too. it's a weird thing for me. i wasn't real tired at the end, though my feet were getting a little sore just from being on them so long. i had a sense of dread going into a field in the same way i did going into the woods. but i liked that i was doing it. and i liked that i didn't fall (or even really trip). i hated that at points i was basically walking up the hills and around the roots. but at this point i just feel like that's something that will improve with practice and is just part of the gig. and i loved that i woke up without a bit of soreness. yes, i only went at like a 15 minute pace, but it's only my 2nd time trying it. could be worse.

no, i probably won't be entering a trail race anytime soon. or ever (i can't even wrap my head around what a nightmare it'd be to run with a crowd of people through that terrain). but the ocassional trail run could be nice. plus i got to celebrate national running day feeling strong and like a real runner. perfect day to welcome in june.